Are you sabotaging your own sucess?
Have you ever felt that you just weren’t good a something? For whatever reason you try it anyways, get the exact result you were expecting, then justify it by saying, “See? I told you I’m not good at that!”
You then go on avoiding that skill in the future because hey, who wants to do something we’re not good at?
I’ve struggled with this concept for my entire life. If I’m not good at a game, then I don’t play it. I wasn’t good at math so I avoided it like the plague. I remember as a kid in track and field if I was too far off the leader in a race, I would actually convince myself that I was hurt and that was why I couldn’t win! Miraculously though, I’d be completely healed by the events that I thought I’d stand a chance in….go figure!
Why am I sharing these stories with you?
Because over the past few days I’ve realized something very important.
What we believe to be true will likely become our reality.
As I’ve mentioned in some for my previous blog posts, I’ve recently been going through a bit of a tough time with my young dog Heist. Not because he hasn’t been doing well, but because I find myself very frustrated while training or competing with him. Now I know that I could list more than a dozen things that he does well or that I do we’ll as a trainer. But to be completely honest it’s shaken my confidence in myself and my training ability.
Doubts started to come into my head…toxic thoughts that poisoned my self-image and concept of my reality. Thoughts like:
“Maybe people were right when they said I was just a small dog handler”.
“If “so and so” were training him, then maybe he’d be running differently”
Even things along the line of, “is he really the right dog for me?”
I dismiss these thoughts as soon as they come but they have still lingered. It has poisoned my attitude and my thought process. I started going into runs just hoping he left the bars up or hit his contacts. I was walking the course thinking of all the places he might turn wide or mistakes that might happen.
I’ve been sabotaging myself before I even began.
Have you ever had an experience like this? Maybe you’ve gone into the run hoping your dog gets their weave poles or contacts. Maybe it’s an important run and you figure that you’re outclassed by whatever big names are entered. Even something as simple as telling yourself that your going to forget this course.
Whatever your own situation is, there is a common denominator here. You’ve already decided you’re going to fail before you’ve even gotten started.
In doing so, our subconscious mind searches and twists reality to fulfill our own views about our performance, sinking us deeper into the spiral of negativity.
“Fear and self doubt have always been the enemies of human potential. “
My own fear has been keeping me chained to these ideas of failure.
So I’ve decided that this is a moment to embrace a new perspective and greet my shortcomings as a chance to help those around me.
So I’m coming into the Canadian Open this weekend with a strong attitude, believing in myself, my dogs, and my students.
To be a bit cliched, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” and I realized that all my frustrations, failures, and successes have had the purpose of brining me to this point of change where I can grow from the experience and become a stronger trainer, coach, and competitor.
For once for me its not about the win. It’s about the confidence that makes the win possible.
“We advance on our journey only when we face our goal, only when we are confident and believe we are going to win out” —Orison Swett Marden
Canadian Open here we come!
Jess Martin of Agile Dog Training.